I need to preface this with the circumstances in which this is being written.
Baby woke upset- I could not find sleep land after getting him back into it. I have been up since 3:28Am. That is why I have the time to write this.
I began writing - he woke again at 4:30Am.
I am finishing this with him sleeping in my arms in the living room arm chair.
One of my breast may be exposed from nursing. I can no longer reach my coffee. Bummer.
On to the post.
We all know them - or we all virtually see one on social media.
The super mom.
The mom whom always has her hair done (what!?!! Washed?????? And styled!?F***!)
And makeup on....
Incredibly stylish clothes
Multiple children whom are all really stylish too *oh yes......she has more children than me and still looks amazing (more on that later!).....
And wearing heals while carrying her baby...
And has time to do her exercise in cute aerobic clothing...
And has the best (posed) mom bod ever...
And always has her eyes open and a beautiful smile on her face for pictures....
And is IN pictures instead of being the one taking them...
And creates her home to be a replicate of the most stylish decor...and its clean! (Whaaaaat?)
And cooks amazing nutritious meal that look like they are from a magazine and not a freezer...
And lives a natural organic life....
And is a successful in her work, with promotions and the opportunity to “climb the ladder”.....
And has a ton of friends (whom all look like her)....
And has no issues parenting.....
And her children will become worldly because she is so incredible...
And has a great sexual relationship with her partner....
I am so exhausted of “And.”
I’m so heartbroken from “And.”
Seeing, feeling, and holding the mommas I support as a doula whom feel all these “Ands.”
Truly makes me cry.
I have felt them too.
In business and in mothering.
You feel the pressure to be more. You feel that you are not enough, not doing enough, not achieving enough.
Perhaps this motivates you to do more or perhaps it cracks your soul a bit.
I personally have gone though both feelings of being motivated, but honestly have felt more self-disappointment and disempowerment from this crap.
Lets.Leave.that. POOP. Behind.
Known that it’s fake.
I should reframe that: perhaps it is real. At least the best moments were caught on camera. Perhaps that moms life is “THAT put together.”
More than likely not.
More than likely she has a lot more resources that perhaps you do not have.
More than likely she is not cooking her meals, playing with her children, cleaning her house, pushing her career forward: someone else is doing it for her.
More than likely her insecurities are her driving force. When truly bringing that concept into my heart, it makes me want to hug her.
Not from pity.
From seeing and feeling her not being able to stand strong in her authenticity.
No my every moment should be a perfect one. You will lose reality if trying to achieve that. That eliminates all space of real and all space for growth.
I wish every woman the ability to stand in her own self. To find her happy.
This is the only place in motherhood I hold judgement. No mother should feel she is not a super mom.
It takes a lot of courage to be strong enough to be real; to be happy with all that you are instead of what you want to become, or more what you were, to be vulnerable and show the “ugly.” This “ugly” in the realm of motherhood should be renamed Wonder Woman.
Share your moments. Use filters and special affects - they are too fun and cool not to. Try holding more consciousness to why you are sharing; making mental note of your reasonings. This is the goal I hold and encourage other mommas to hold.
Enjoy altering your moments - while remember to stay true.
Not every moment should be perfect.
What’s your goal in posting it. To make yourself feel better? To make others envious? To find sisterhood? There are countless reasons: know yours.
For the true Wonder Women: I admire your strength in being real and embracing it all. Your courage to not take others on: to not strive to be like someone else whom appears to be better. To not present any rendition of fake. To be present in you.right.now.
To be you. To be happy with the true you. There is only one of you.
Only you have that recipe.
That’s powerful. That’s real.
I’m honored to be a part of THAT motherhood pack with you.
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I adore being a mom. Each day is filled with small moments of joy...and some challenging ones too! All of it is just too precious.